Letting Go

Well, here we are.
Tomorrow morning I am dropping Jina off at her dorm.

Much change has taken place in the past year of our lives.
The completion of Jina's childhood and her transition into "adulthood" has taken place.
We have been so busy making sure all the paperwork is in order, buying supplies for college and physically moving Jina to another city a couple hours away. It has been one huge blur and we've adapted to the change.

Jina & I in our hot pink hair phase 2005

Things have been going great with all the changes.  I've only had one or two big cry sessions about Jina's departure. (One was with her baby brother). Yes, it was as sweet as it sounds, they really love each other and are very close.

Baby Brother and Big Sister - 2007

When I've been asked how I'm handling all of this - honestly, I'm doing well.
However, there has been one annoying thing, the "consoling" words of - "At least you have more kids...". Yes, I do but it doesn't replace the one I am letting go of.  The house will not be as filled as it once was. Our family will not have the same dynamic anymore. A changing of the guard is taking place, a different child will now be the oldest in the house.  Responsibility comes with that position and he has some learning to do. I've also had to cook less food, which is strange right now. As a mom you condition yourself to cook enough food a set number of people over the years.

I guess ultimately I feel mostly pride right now for what a great human being Jina has become. The waves of bittersweetness of letting go and seeing her off into the world is admittedly overwhelming at times though. She has been my sidekick my entire adult life and in many ways I have grown up with her in tow. After 18 years of seeing her daily it will change to once or twice a month if I am lucky. It's an adjustment. Good thing we have cell phones.

I feel like I am leveling up in the parenthood game. Then I send off another child and level up again in 2 years. It's really one big blur my friends. Those of you who are just starting your families keep that in mind. The teething babies and sleepless nights quickly turn into college bound young adults.

I'm looking forward to the drive to the university in the morning. We'll have one last meal together with our boyfriends like a scene from Gilmore Girls and head off in our own directions. Then new chapter begins.

Thea - Leveled Up

September 19, 2013